WRITINGS

Hekser: The Story

It was a rainy September evening in Querétaro, Mexico, back in 2011. I remember the sun being barely a dim light trying to get through the grey clouds that covered the sky; surely not enough to light up my bedroom. Raindrops hitting the window, the smell of cold coffee and wet dirt on my shoes permeating the air, and Darkthrone's Hate Them 2003 album playing in the background. This is the environment where Hekser was born, right there and then... In my mind, at least.

I was holding a Norwegian dictionary, going through the pages, trying to increase my limited vocabulary by memorizing cool-sounding words. And there it was: heks, meaning witch, and hekser, plural, meaning witches. I remember being obsessed (and honestly, I still am) with anything concerning witches and the supernatural. Here in Mexico, witches are kind of a big deal even to this day, actually. People tell stories of witchcraft and the horrors that await you if you choose to roam the countryside at night. Back then, I was fascinated with the whole mysticism surrounding the topic and I would read stories, legends, myths, and everything that could expand my knowledge of the folklore and history of witches. I even got deep into the occult, pagan, ritualistic, and esoteric side of things, trying to understand as much as I could.

You have to understand that during this time of my life I was desperate for knowledge, mostly because I was pretty much lost amidst the uncertainty of my own beliefs. Lots of questions and no answers, raised by deeply catholic parents, taught not to doubt the word of God-- all that shit. However, since I was a kid, religion never seemed to fit my way of thinking. I got deep into science and philosophy, then Norse mythology, esotericism, occultism, you name it. After that, it was paganism, atheism, and finally satanism. So, basically, I went from kind-of-religious-but-not-so-much to agnostic, from atheist to pagan, from (kind of) LaVeyan satanist to atheist again, and from then to... whatever the fuck I am right now. I don't label myself as anything in particular. Call me an atheist if you want, I don't really care. Nobody knows anything, nothing is really true. I don't believe in God, gods, the afterlife, magick, fate, luck, or the supernatural. I know, however, that I don't hold all the answers, and that's fine. To me, life is just a big long journey meant for questioning everything. Sometimes, I feel like I'm still open to the possibility of being surprised by the answers I may find... or not (most likely). So, yes, I still seek for knowledge, but it is the question that matters most to me. An exercise in being human, I suppose.

So yes, I guess it took me a while to find my own path. However, the one thing that remained true, constant, strong, and certain in my life during those years was music. My uncle used to play heavy metal in his car whenever he picked up my cousin and me from elementary school. That was the first time I listened to the classics like Sabbath, Priest, Maiden, and Motörhead. Then, he would also play some Haggard, Rhapsody, Stratovarius, and Nightwish. I became fascinated with it. From there on, I started looking for new bands, new music, new sounds. Always trying to find the heaviest thing I could find. I started listening to Metallica, Megadeth, Kreator, and Sodom, then I got into Cannibal Corpse, Possessed, Death, and Exhumed. After that, I discovered Venom, Celtic Frost, Bathory, Mayhem, Darkthrone, Burzum, and Dissection. I liked thrash, I loved death, but I was absolutely obsessed with black metal and all the different harsh, violent, angry, sad, and immersive soundscapes it had to offer.

I was eleven years old when my parents gave me a Stratocaster guitar for Christmas. I picked it up and never again put it down. That's all I did. Practice, practice, practice, learn songs, play songs, write songs. I played with a couple friends along the way, but they didn't want to play originals. My biggest dream was to have a band, play my own songs, and record albums. So I took it upon myself and learned how to record stuff on my computer, programming drums, mixing, mastering, etc. and I recorded a shitload of crappy unlistenable songs and released them as "albums" on whatever platform I could. During the next years, I continued releasing songs under several names, mostly because I wanted to explore different music genres. I went from rock to ambient, from electronica to shoegaze, and finally, to black metal, which I always loved listening to but had a hard time composing, mostly because I couldn't come up with original ideas.

So, back to where we started... September 2011, it finally happened: Hekser was born. I tried to come up with the most evil-sounding power chord progressions I could and put all the occult knowledge I had at the time into the lyrics, learned how to growl and screech, and composed and recorded a bunch of black metal songs, and demos. Unfortunately, they would remain stored on my computer without seeing the light of day for the next 10 years or so. Despite my commitment, I was still having a hard time coming up with ideas that sounded good enough to be put into an album. Life went by, time passed, and then-- at the start of 2021, I finally decided to get my shit together, take the time, work through it, and finish the goddamn songs once and for all. I never stopped making music, mind you, but I can say with the utmost confidence that the years improved my knowledge, skill, and approach to composition. I took the time to learn how to properly record and mix music, I further developed my guitar-playing skills, and, most importantly, I finally understood what I wanted to play and how I wanted to play it.

Yes, Hekser finally materialized. I took the ideas I liked from that whole 2011 clusterfuck, put them all into music sheets, and spent months composing evil riffs and cool rhythm sections. During that time, I was questioning my purpose in life, trying to find the reason behind it all, and I became obsessed with the subject of death and the idea of eternal oblivion, which basically states that conscience is no more after we die, meaning that we simply stop being aware when we cease to exist and are thus free from the knowledge of our own "non-existence". Back in 2021, I was coming to terms with my own mortality, the uncertainty of life itself, and the meaningless absurdity of existence. I desperately needed the means to express it, to put it into words; to create something that could condense my feelings and thoughts in a cathartic way. So, after a very chaotic but extremely liberating process, I finally released Death Is The Only Certainty, an album that captures the sound and ideas I pursued for years.

The release of Death Is The Only Certainty marked the beginning of a new stage in my life, one that will continue with more albums I plan to release. This whole experience has been a dream come true, and during the past months, I've come to realize that life is indeed full of unexpected inspirations and exciting opportunities. This is my life. I am Hekser, and Hekser is me. Fully committed, excited, and ready to create and develop new ideas and music for the years to come.

—DRRG